Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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