I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
