She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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