i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
