sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
my being single is dangerous.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
