I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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