better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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