UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
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so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
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Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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