You're my little dorito
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
We left the knife in your bed.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Randomize
