I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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