you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Randomize