I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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