so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
The air was thick with penises
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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