I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
