I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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