shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize