"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
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long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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