So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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