I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
i black out too much to be "responsible"
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
