Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
