12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
