You're a womanizer and a bitch.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
