if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
