Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
