Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
