What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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