my room smells like sperm. sweet.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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