The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
She's JV to your varsity
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
