I wish I only lived at night.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
