Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
