its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
