i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
