Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
