The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
