I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
jump out the window naked night went bad
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize