i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
