The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
