Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Randomize
