hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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