I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
