Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
