Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
