I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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