I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I seem to have left my pride at pride
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
