So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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