Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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