Your tits are I can't wait for
accomplished twins. life is a go
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
