Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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