she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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