best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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