i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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