only if we run a train.
done.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
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