My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
