I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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