I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
