I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
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So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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