i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
