Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
