Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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