I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
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