discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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