Christians are straight up FREAKS
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
