return my video game
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Randomize
