Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize